When I focus on what others think, what the books say, what people suggest (parents & non-parents), what the charts say, etc. I worry, I stress, and my baby is less happy.

When I listen to my instincts I parent in a way that keeps my child happier.

When I listen to my intuition I spend less time crying.

When I listen to my gut feelings my stress levels drop.

And at the end of the day, I understand that what I do as a parent may be entirely different from what someone else does – and that’s okay.

I’m 35 weeks pregnant and in the past week I’ve become pregnant. I’ve been so fortunate to have an easy pregnancy, with very little to complain about. It wasn’t even until I was about 30 weeks that I started to have some heartburn – and even then it was fairly infrequent. It’s just in the past week or two that things are becoming more difficult – turning over in bed (it’s not the belly, but the hips that are unhappy), regular heartburn, more fatigue – the normal pregnancy complaints. I have two choices – I can be unhappy and complain (which I’ll admit I’ve done some of ), or I can remind myself of how lucky I’ve been throughout this pregnancy. How thankful I am to be pregnant and to be carrying this baby inside me. A baby who I will get to meet next month. A baby who will change the rest of my life. For that I am thankful, and the day-to-day annoyances (which are still minor compared to what I’ve heard some of my friends go through) are just a part of the process.

I am also thankful for my animals. My fluffy companions who follow me around and take naps with me when I nap, who sit with me on the couch when I post up there. It’s not uncommon for at least three of the four of them to be within 10 feet of me at any given time. I love my animals and am thankful for their unconditional love. And their cuteness… so much cuteness (even the one who is looking at me wondering if it’s time for “second breakfast” which he never gets but always hopes for).

For most this is the umpteenth snow of the season, old hat. For me, this is a magical thing to watch, a chance of discovery for one who is unfamiliar with this white powder. I walk through the freezing rain, learning how freezing rain bounces off my jacket, and hits my face. It turns into snow just as I arrive at the house – a soft gentle structure, no more bouncing of frozen ice, instead a structure of thin ice crystals. I watch a man scrape the snow off his car, and marvel at the tool designed specifically to be both a brush and a scraper. He’s most likely frustrated that he has to take the time to do this, I however love learning about this process, seeing the steps he has to take. I start to realize why there are snow shovels not only on front porches but also in the trunks of cars. Two birds fly in seeking cover, they find refuge by the side of the garage. They nest in a pile of leaves – they’re here to stay for a bit.

Today I walked through a cold winter morning, came back through freezing rain, and saw it change into gentle snow. For that I am grateful.

The best thing one can do when it’s raining is to let it rain. ~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

I contemplate the micro-beads of water peppering my face and wonder what the difference between mist and fog and a light rain is… and then laugh about how this is like a mini-facial.

I wonder how fog gets this thick and then wish I were back at home, curled up in my bed, with a wonderful book and a steaming cup of tea.

And then I get to work, make a cup of mint tea, inhale deeply, and just relax. Foggy days and mint tea make for a cozy day.

Like when you wake up to a cold room, only to glance over and see your cat stretched out over the entire heating vent. She looks up as to say “What?” You go with the only reasonable solution – carrying her about as your own personal heater.

Like when your 55 lb dog has shoved himself so far underneath the bed that he can’t easily get out… only to have the cat flounce by him… How can you help but laugh at the hilarious process the follows as he tries to army crawl his way out from under the bed.

And when that same dog comes in from the backyard with a leaf stuck to his elbow. I suppose I could have taken it off for him, but instead, it was so much better to watch him try and get it. Exactly like watching a person trying to lick their elbow.

Oh, and I might currently be laughing because our other dog, who normally sleeps on the couch, has currently shoved himself so far under the bed that he’s not visible. Perhaps he’s a stowaway. He might have half a chance at staying hidden if it weren’t for the fact that he’s chewing away on a nylabone… he needs to take some lessons from the cats on being stealthy and quiet.

What’s the craziest/weirdest/wackiest/most laugh worthy thing your animals have done?

Baked Tortilla Chips

Ingredients
corn tortillas
olive oil
kosher salt
pepper

Directions
Cut tortilla chips into sixths (as though you were cutting a pizza – so you get the nice triangles)

Spray baking sheet with olive oil

Lay out tortilla slices on baking sheet, spray again with olive oil.

Sprinkle with salt and pepper.

Now you have two options
1) For the safer route: Bake at 350 for 15-20 minutes (flip 1/2 way through if so inclined)
2) For the more adventurous: Broil on high for 3-4 minutes/side (adjust depending on your oven) — WATCH CHIPS CLOSELY!*

The chips are best served when slightly warm. Throw in a bowl and serve with the dip of your choice:

*Broiler Method: I think that the broiler method works best for getting a nice crispy chip. It is my method of choice – however it’s possible that my husband prefers that I use the oven – but that’s just because the first time making these didn’t go so well. One of the first times I made these chips I checked how things were going around minute 3 and everything looked fine. Suddenly, around minute 5, I noticed smoke coming out of the oven. The chips went from unbaked to fire fuel to charcoal in a very short time. Lesson learned – never leave the broiler unattended. So… if you have frightened your roommates/family with kitchen fires already, you may decide to stick to the oven method.

…. I’ll continue to use the broiler method… I mean how many times can this really happen?

The smurf highly recommends this method of R&R.

If you talk to your coworkers and friends, watch commercials, see the ads all around us… you of course know that the holidays are a time for joy, happiness, family, and festivities. If it wasn’t like that for you this year, you’re not alone, and you’re not abnormal for struggling to find the festive attitude. There are so many reasons why you can find the holidays tough – the crowds, the people, remembrances, complicated plans, etc. But it’s hard to know that it’s okay to have a tough time, when all around us we’re being told “HAPPY, YAY, JOY, WHEE” = Normal.

I will admit, most years I’m a holiday happy happy joy joy person – I love the holiday spirit and the festive air. The crowds and family gatherings have always taken a slight toll on me just due to the stress of having to interact and be ON constantly (I’m a person who craves down time and doesn’t do well in large gatherings), but overall, I still have always really enjoyed the holidays. This year was harder than others for a number of reasons – and some of those reasons meant I just didn’t feel like celebrating. Unfortunately, despite not feeling celebratory and craving solitude, this year was also a year when family and friends were scheduled in such a way that there would always be people around for almost two solid weeks. It was a balancing act – trying to appreciate being able to spend time with family while still seeking the solitude necessary for mental health and recovery. I was very nervous about this, but also tried to realize that worrying really wouldn’t change anything for the better. I decided to try to do my best each day to take care of myself.

As we enter the last half week stretch, I have to say that I survived and even had some fun. In order to get there, I had to override my overwhelming need to do what I felt others expected of me, to always be out socializing with guests, organizing food, and helping out where needed. Instead, I spent time tucked away in my bedroom, allowing myself to feel whatever I was feeling, and get some mental fresh air. I really tried to focus on the now and not stress out about plans changing, or not being perfectly on time. I had some wonderful times this holiday season, but I want to acknowledge that it was hard for me – and I know that it’s hard for others out there too.

I hope you all had the strength to take care of yourself during this holiday season and had some time to refresh your spirit.